


i dont believe in that kind of god

by pearl_zero



Category: Friday Night Funkin' (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Existential Crisis, Gen, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29913762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearl_zero/pseuds/pearl_zero
Summary: Senpai, in a video game world.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	i dont believe in that kind of god

**Author's Note:**

> unga

"We're not having an existential crisis at three in the morning," Senpai declares, and then hops out of bed and into the bathroom.

He can hear Spirit whispering, but at this point it does him no good to listen. Spirit is a force of its own nature, and Senpai couldn't care less about it until the time came.

He splashes water on his face. It doesn't ruin the makeup, even though it isn't waterproof.

He sighs. The game apparently wants him to look pretty 24/7, which is no good for when you don't want to have an existential crisis.

Spirit whispers something. Senpai wants to punch the mirror.

He looks amazing for someone awake at three in the morning. He  _ hates  _ looking amazing every minute of every day. He wants the fucking makeup to wear off, he wants to scrub his skin until he can feel himself becoming normal again, but he knows it'll never happen, not while he's stuck in this place with this fucking Spirit who can't  _ shut the fuck up. _

He sighs, but it's less of a sigh and more of a heave. He splashes his face with water again and it makes him feel even more upset.

He goes back to bed. Spirit helps him have a nice existential crisis.

* * *

"S-Senpai--" The girl stutters, holding a bento box in her hand.

Senpai smirks against the wall.  _ 5th one this week,  _ whispers Spirit, and Senpai comes close to breaking character and screaming. 

But he doesn't, and the timid girl utters a confession, and Senpai charmingly takes the bento box and says, "Of course, beautiful, I'd be delighted to take you out for dinner," and the girl giggles and Senpai's insides curl with disgust because it's all a simulation and this girl isn't even  _ real,  _ just a little illusion set up by the game to let him be the pretty boy of the school.

Senpai watches the girl walk away with a skip in her step, and Spirit reminds him of all the reasons Senpai can't just settle down and embrace the video game.

It hurts, knowing you're the only thing that's self-aware in a world full of lovesick girls.

* * *

Senpai doesn't know when he stopped remembering his name and started calling himself Senpai.

It's not his name. It's  _ not.  _ It's what everyone calls him in this twisted school, sure, but it isn't his name at all. Senpai can barely remember his name anymore, can barely remember washing off makeup, can barely remember waking up and knowing that things were real and alright.

Senpai can barely remember  _ living,  _ but he remembers when he metaphorically died.

Poetic.

* * *

Senpai almost cuts his finger off while cooking, and the blood flowing from the gash makes him want to throw up.

He knows it's irrational, to be squeamish from a little bit of crimson, but it's one of the things he remembers from living, one of the things he knows means death, one of the things that flowed from his friend's body when that  _ bastard  _ had cursed them all--

So naturally, Senpai is scared of blood. He's scared when he gets cuts and scratches and he's scared when he sees orbs of red poke from his skin, threatening to drip from his wound.

"Ah," He very intellectually says, and Spirit laughs its raspy laughter that makes Senpai want to claw his ears off.

Everything is so horrible.

* * *

The date with the girl goes okay. They talk a bit and the girl moves in for a kiss and Senpai entertains her, if only because Spirit is whispering loudly and Senpai likes delaying the inevitable.

Senpai offers to ride the girl home. The girl smiles and nods shyly.

Senpaj opens the door for her, because the game tells him to be a gentleman and if he doesn't oblige, the game forces him to.

The game does not force Spirit to do anything, unfortunately.

Senpai does not drive the girl home, and instead spends the night in the car with noise stopping headphones, so he doesn't have to hear the girl screaming.

* * *

"No luck, I suppose," Senpai sighs, and Spirit shrugs-- or does whatever's the closest to a shrug for a spirit.

"She tasted like roaches. Disgusting. She'll be back tomorrow," Spirit says, and Senpai hums in response and tries not to think about the girl dying.

(He is not successful.)

* * *

"You," Senpai points a carrot at Spirit, because the game forces him to be healthy. "Look like… ah, a blood stain."

"I thought you didn't like blood," Spirit rasps back, a presence that isn't friendly but isn't trying to kill him, either.

"I don't," Senpai grins smugly. "Which must explain why I despise you so."

Spirit laughs, and Senpai wants to plunge his fingers so far into his ears that it takes the entire ear out.

* * *

Senpai meets the small, blue haired fucker, and Spirit is finally, finally happy. Senpai is happy, too, for once in his prison, because the boy is real and that means they can  _ leave. _

* * *

They do not leave.

* * *

Senpai splashes his face with water and grins into the mirror. His dazzling grin that makes girls fall over.

Senpai punches the mirror, and the blood that oozes from his knuckles makes him want to faint.

Senpai lets himself cry, just a little, because they had a way out, and they were not out.

* * *

"Fuck," Senpai says. "You really fucked up my face, Spirit."

"Language," Spirit hisses, and Senpai rolls his eyes and clutches his eye. He must get an eyepatch immediately-- a few days after they almost escaped, and now his eye is bleeding and throbbing and all the like. He's certain that Spirit's dramatic entrance had done that.

"Language, your mom," Senpai says, and then doubles over in laughter, because that joke was truly horrible and it felt  _ exhilarating  _ to just make jokes like that in a world where he's supposed to be the resident pretty blonde boy.

* * *

Senpai looks at his bandaged hands and runs his fingers over his eyepatch and thinks,  _ I'm going to die in this video game,  _ and the thought makes him laugh.

Senpai knew he was going to die in this video game. They both knew.

It was about time Senpai accepted it.

  
  



End file.
